Hanging in Iowa
and having a few beers with the cook at Kelly's Little Nipper
Hello! Welcome back to the Pictures of Dives substack. A blog about bars and really whatever else I feel like talking about.
I went to Iowa for a job over the summer and while I was there I popped into Kelly’s Little Nipper. Good spot! Drinks are cheap, and the food is great (try the onion rings). The name is weird and it’s unclear why it’s called that which is fun. I had a really long conversation with the cook while I was in there. (Every time I tell this story I sort of gloss over the fact I was in a bar in the middle of a pandemic when Iowa was the number 1 hot spot in the country. It wasn’t the smartest move but by saying that I have PREEMPTIVELY canceled myself and am now immune to your scorn.) The bar was empty and him and I just sorta shot the shit for a while. When he found out I am originally from DC, he told me how in 1996 he worked for the Ross Perot campaign.
Whenever people find out you’ve spent any amount of time living in our nation’s capital, they immediately want to talk about politics with you. I imagine people from LA get this but with movies and Floridians probably have to explain why weird crimes are always being committed there.
I didn’t have much to say about a 3rd party candidate that ran for president when I was 4 so we moved on pretty quickly. He was rocking a Kirk Cousins Vikings jersey and since I am unfortunately a Football Team fan, we complained about him a lot. Then talked a little Hawkeyes football, the weather and at some point he explained his theory about the JFK assassination. You know, normal small talk stuff. I don’t really remember the specifics of his theory but I’m sure I was on board at the time. That’s the fun of a dumb bar argument; remembering half truths through the haze of 5 or so beers, committing to things you could not possibly follow through with, and then just going on a living your life like normal instead.
We then talked more about modern American politics, this at the time was an election year afterall, and we sort of did that thing you just have to do now where you feel out a stranger politically by asking roundabout questions because you can’t can just be like “are you going to tell me about Qanon and threaten to kill me, or are you normal?” He told me he didn’t like Trump or Biden but will probably vote for Biden. I then asked him, since he hated both guys, who his ideal candidate would be in 2020 and he said he wished Ross Perot was still alive. Should’ve seen that one coming, huh?
